Frankly (he keeps cropping up), Poll, I AM sulking...I admit I had a thoroughly enjoyable night at The Bull...and it was good to roadtest the soapbox...but Kylie seemed more interested in my historically renowned ball skills than my new leadership campaign. Her only encouragement was about my willingness to grapple with tough issues...but she used the word 'tackle' in a way that made me nervous and excited all at once. She was a lovely girl though, with very good credentials..perhaps she should sit up front next to me in the van. Talking of which...I know it's taking my eye of the ball for a moment...but I have been wrapped up in fanciful ideas of how to customize the VW...are my flower-power days (daze) still in vogue...do we really care? Can we paint it a bit hippyish and add a psychedelic, eyecatching slogan? 'Power to the People' (remember Wolfy?), 'It's the Wannabes, Stupid'(no we don't want to be associated with Bill Clinton or the economy just at the moment) 'Wannawin ...not Spin?','The only way is UP','Britain Rocks'? Yes, I am definately struggling to maintain focus.
As for Beckonscot...what a washout. Apart from the rain..no one recognised me without my beard and my Morris Dancing Group has disowned me. Which brings me on to preserving British Tradition...would Kylie be the best person to present the views of the ancient British countryfolk in the remote corners of our land? Much as we should celebrate our multicultural diversity...we should not forget that Cumberland Wrestling, Ferret Racing and Victoria Sponge is the glue that bonds rural communities.
I don't think we should rush to fill up the the seats just yet..perhaps we should consider opening up the field to the public at large. We can't do it all Polly...there must be experts out there chomping at the bit to help us run the country...it's the bloody politicians that get in the way. Muriel, at the Baker's told me that we should create a 'blag site'. I thought I had misheard until the guy behind me gently corrected her. Anyway this probably means more to you than me...but our own Blog Site does sound a bit of a hoot! We could blag our way to the top....maybe there's a slogan in that...or 'Blogger's Unite'!! And, I was outraged that my sliced granary had gone up to £1.70. Muriel said it was because wheat prices have risen...so why are farmers still struggling I ask myself? Better allocate a seat for 'Economics and Trade'...there should be a few financial gurus out there currently scouting for just such an opportunity. We need to think seriously about the roles required for our leadership team...how about we save that for 'The Claptrap'...and think on about a slogan.
Please thank Robin for the offer of his airmiles...but I'm concerned that it might alienate green voters. I know you weren't keen on my offer of a croggy on my fold-up bike...so how about a tandem for short hops? There's another vacancy...Minister of Transport...a fellow eco-warrior perhaps, bursting with ideas to green up our modes of transport. Even better if we had nationwide representation..all we see is a predominence of Southern politicians and the token Scot (that'll be Gordy...soon to be EX-Gordy) spouting forth about what our country needs. What about 'Fred Smith from Norfolk' or 'Dotty Braithwaite' from Bolton. More women is a philosophy I have always cherished! Incidentally Polly...I spotted your photo on Friends Reunited....there's no hiding the fact that it was taken a few years ago. You're not trying to reignite burning embers with Gary Grimble are you...you know he's gay? He is! Is! Is! Is! That's WHY he's recently divorced. Sorry Polly, but I didn't want you to embarrass yourself...more! See you on Wednesday my lovely!
PS There really was NO need to mention my rugby memorabilia. The silver platter was donated by Balti Towers on London Road...for my rendition of 'Bread of Heaven'...their naans really do hit the spot after a jalfrezi! It's just that I thought that concealing it down my cords added to the lyrics.
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Mahatma Gandhi once said:
"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history."