Hi Polly & Ivor,
I’ve let you both down horribly, and am deeply, deeply ashamed. Still, never mind eh?
How to combat global warming in three easy steps.
Greenpeace’s official version –
Graham from Greenpeace’s entirely unofficial version -
1. Get rid of that retarded cowboy fella. OK, he is funny, but it’s not really working out, and I don’t like the look of his chubby friend. (Done! This is so easy! Thank you Polly & Ivor for unleashing my super powers.)
2. Forget about that whole ‘clean coal’ thing. There is no CCS fairy. Fall for this and they’ll be back with ‘safe nuclear’ and ‘sustainable growth’ before you can say ‘sucker!’
3. Do something. We’ve got about six years left to get things moving in the right direction. If you’ve already spent a couple fretting over the right target, the right strategy and the right tactics, perhaps it’s time to forget about the theory and start getting practical. Trapped by your own indecision? Set yourself a time limit. Two more days of mulling it over, then DO something. Still not sure what to do? There are a million websites telling you how to cut your own carbon footprint and how to influence governments and corporations. Read one, do it. Worried it might be the wrong one? Don’t be. You are pre-emptively forgiven for any errors you might make. Just go for it. Wait much longer and your perfect solution will no longer be relevant. Concerned that you don’t have the power to make a difference? While the rest of the world are stuck in the same disempowered state, breaking out of it will bring you far more power than you could possibly deserve. You naughty megalomaniac, you. Compared to the average apathetic worker/voter/consumer, you’ll be a colossus bestriding the globe, bending humanity to your implacable will, shaping the future for a thousand generations and stamping your image onto our collective memory. Only while apathy stocks last, mind you. Wait until everyone’s doing something and you’ll just be another cog in the machine. Do something now and stay ahead of the curve. Fate has given you the chance to save the world. ‘Stenders will still be there when you get back, and it only takes an episode or two to catch up.
Umm, that’s it.
Graham from Greenpeace
New to this blog.....
Virgin Wannabes want to know how we virtually got started? Polly and Ivor Go Live! and Job Share Prime Minister. Follow our email journey.....
Mahatma Gandhi once said:
"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history."